There is something that I should have earlier that I failed to do before. I have had a problem with F4TH0M and followingseas, and I must put it right.
I know now that what I did was thoughtless and rude. I did not realize that you were spreading somebody else’s message and not your own. I also judged what you were trying to say too quickly and too impulsively. As the saying goes, I judged that book by its cover, or rather, I judged only by one quality rather than by the whole. I acted that way as well because I had received the note in the group messages at the time you asked to join. I came to the wrong conclusion that way; I might have acted differently if it were submitted to me after you joined the group. That way, I might have consulted with the other members first, and then decided. I feel that we mistimed ourselves rather badly on this issue. Actually, I had came up with a retcon for NIMH 2, even though it does connect to the NIMH/Star Wars story, but I will show it to you all the same if you are interested. In fact, I take back everything I said about it. I truly mean it.
I shared you the story because, like you said, there are things in the original book that the film sorely missed. I wanted to tie in the first film with the first book more closely with some original elements of my own. For instance, unless you have read Star Wars: Heir to the Empire, you never actually see what goes on in the Imperial’s mind, and the story it tells is a nice tie-in after Return of the Jedi. The writing feels intelligent, you are drawn in emotionally, and you feel a connection to it. I had felt a spiritual connection to Star Wars and The Secret of NIMH, and I see a few similar elements in the two. They initially seemed to have science fiction elements that seem a little bit pushed aside for the main story, but the film version of NIMH has a spiritual connection that very, very similar to the Force, particularly with Nicodemus and the Stone. The latter was what helped drive my initial concept for bringing the two together; there is so little information about it that I wanted to develop its history more and more so it wouldn’t feel entirely out of place, as some would fiercely attest to. When you look at the scene where Yoda raises the X-wing from the swamp and Mrs. Brisby raises her house from the mud, how can you not see a similarity? I had recently read “Book of Sith” and how, in one section, it talked a little bit about Darth Plagueis’ experiments with the midi-chlorians to further his goals for immortality, and I figured, why not Palpatine too? He want complete domination of the galaxy for eternity, so why not conduct this experiment in secret where no one would find it? I have just started to get into the Star Wars Expanded Universe, and it intrigues me greatly. I feel that you won’t get the whole Star Wars story unless you delve into the Expanded Universe, but that is just me.
I wrote this apology because I read the comments in the journal entry where it talked about the user ban. What I read hurt my feelings. It hurt my feelings because it reminds me of the people and feelings that I hurt unintentionally without my knowing. Just because you can say things behind a person’s back because they hurt you doesn’t mean that you should do the same to that person. I tried to ignore it, but when I saw it in a friend’s favorites, I just couldn’t take the horrible things you said about me. I don’t mean to sound dramatic, but in this scenario, we have gained nothing by this conflict, just bitterness. I want to find a peace settlement to this, a way to cleanse me of my guilt and the animosity you have toward me. I admit that my actions are inexcusable and that I should not be forgiven, and I think you might be right. This apology journal won’t be enough, but it can be a start. If there is anything I can do for the both of you to make up for my actions, let me know, and I will make those amendments.
This apology seems long and overly dramatic, but I truly believe that it is the right thing to do. I am not a monster that the comments make me out to be. I am human; a human who still needs to control his impulses and let knowledge, wisdom, patience, and kindness dictate my actions and judgements. Can we start over again? I don’t care if it means that I cannot return to the group. I just want to re-establish a peaceful relationship and an understanding between the three of us. All I ask is for your forgiveness, and I will help make things right again.